Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Stewed in History

There are times, not frequent nor long lasting, when I am suddenly stewed in history.

Stewing - unless beef is involved - is not a good thing for me.

Mayhaps I've done something silly or stupid or mean but, whatever it is, once realized it can occasionally trigger a moment of sadness for past sillies, stupidities and meannesses.  Momentarily mired in muck of my own making.  Regrets at things I ought not have said, things that I shouldn't have done.  Poor judgements here and there, remind me of my sin.

I know these things have been absolved, and though God has forgotten, I stew over things unimportant and already accounted for.  I know that I am a damnable sinner; I know that God looks at me and sees Jesus' righteousness.  The hope of my life as a Christian wins out over the hard moments of self reflection, looking in a mirror at a mess, the stew gets eaten and replaced with grace.

These are the times for a spiritual song, I'm sure.  It changes the mindset to the important history, the divine mystery, of the love of the Father, shown through the Son, acknowledged and clung to through the Spirit.

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