Last Monday was Small's first birthday. Yesterday was Small's baptismal birthday.
I'm not going to lie, I was tired before the birthday and not entirely looking forward to making cakes and setting up for a party that he won't remember. Birthdays seem to matter less as an adult; after all, they come every year! It's not that I don't love him. Life has been really tiring and trying lately and it's hard to want to do more than is already necessary. I was not adverse to celebrating him, just tired out and not wanting to put in the effort.
And yet, when that day dawned (even before it truly dawned - I was awake by 4:30), everything was different. No amount of effort was too much. When the clock struck 4:38 am, I wished my beautiful boy a happy birthday. My heart burned with a special pride as I looked at my not sleeping boy. Just one year ago, he was born. For just one year (on the outside), he had been making our lives more special, more challenging, more amazing. I told him bits of his birth day. I marvelled at what one year can do. I watched my Small fellow toddle about the place, playing with his brother, exploring, discovering and viewed with wonder all his little habits and quirks. His little machine gun laugh. His penchant for glasses. His love of cuddling.
Suddenly I had bursts of energy and wanted to shout out to the world, "Look at my boy! He's one already! How he has grown! How he has changed! How he has changed me..."
The day was spent in relative normalcy, but there was a special hue to the day, as if joy had been rubbed on all the tough bits and smoothed them out. His brother helped me make the birthday cupcakes (chocolate with lemon buttercream icing). They barely touched their cupcakes (the second cake for the party went over much better for the birthday boy - banana cake with buttercream icing and candy berries).
It was a good day. Nah, it was a brilliant day. Praise be to God for my little boy. I'm so glad that we have little things like birthdays to sit back at peruse more deeply the blessings God gives. Days that we celebrate the everyday blessings like how fast a little baby boy can grow (and climb!).
Happy Birthday Small. It's been a wonderful, difficult, incredible year. I'm so glad you're part of our life.